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ID: a2b3be08-ecfe-4d90-ba72-c7da421ee897
Title: Fortune cookies
Authors: Nova[有線魔女] <novaburst@envs.net>
Date: 2021-06-17T20:49:51-00:00
Topics: Off-topic
* Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
-- Tallulah Bankhead
* A computer, to print out a fact,
Will divide, multiply, and subtract.
But this output can be
No more than debris,
If the input was short of exact.
-- Gigo
* Conversation, n.:
A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath
is called the listener.
* At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his
thumb with a hammer.
-- Marshall Lumsden
* Democracy is good. I say this because other systems are worse.
-- Jawaharlal Nehru
* Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche
-- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance,
my grandmother used to say, "The black cat is always the last one off
the fence." I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was
undoubtedly true.
-- Solomon Short
* Age, n.:
That period of life in which we compound for the vices that we
still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise
to commit.
-- Ambrose Bierce
* A sine curve goes off to infinity or at least the end of the blackboard.
-- Prof. Steiner
* We are on the verge: Today our program proved Fermat's next-to-last
theorem.
-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
* We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to
socialism, because socialism is defunct. It dies all by itself. The
bad thing is that socialism, being a victim of its ... Did I say
socialism?
-- Fidel Castro
* Chism's Law of Completion:
The amount of time required to complete a government project is
precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.
* A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
-- Herbert Prochnow
* I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest
* It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is
lightly greased.
-- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
* Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
* I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash
* Pig, n.:
An animal (Porcus omnivorous) closely allied to the human race
by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is
inferior in scope, for it balks at pig.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
* If all the Chinese simultaneously jumped into the Pacific off a 10 foot
platform erected 10 feet off their coast, it would cause a tidal wave
that would destroy everything in this country west of Nebraska.
The world's as ugly as sin,
And almost as delightful.
-- Frederick Locker-Lampson
* Main's Law:
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
* Some primal termite knocked on wood.
And tasted it, and found it good.
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.
-- Ogden Nash
* "The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity
that would be clearly understood."
-- Alexander Haig
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